Ibyang
Ibyang

Deep Thoughts

When Was The Last Time You Did Something For Yourself?

Yesterday, I decided not to go to work.

I woke up a little late than usual. The alarm went off at 5:30am, touched the snooze button…alarm went off again after five minutes, I didn’t get up still. After a few more minutes (that’s an understatement), I realized it was already 6am! Immediately, I prepared to go to work. While Husband and I had breakast, I told him, “I don’t want to go to work today, I want to go back to bed and sleep.” The ever-loving husband replied, “Then stay home, what have you got to lose?”

My husband has never been a big talker but once he says something, more often than not, it is logical and will make you stop and realize, “Oo nga no?”

So I asked myself, “When was the last time I did something like this?”

“When was the last time I threw all my caution to the wind and just do what I want and not care about what will happen next?”

“When did I last rewarded myself with a day of sleeping?”

“When was the last time I gave myself something intagible?”

The answer to all those questions was “I don’t know.” With that kind of answer, I think that says a lot, doesn’t it?

And so I stayed home and slept…and watched TV…and read a book…and just relaxed! It was a glorious day for me. I made up for lost sleep and at the same time, it not only rejuvenated my body, but my mind and soul as well.

Nowadays, it’s so easy to get caught up in the web-like array of our day-to-day activities–work, responsibilities, bills to pay, parties to attend, a household to manage, kids to take care of, family and friends to be there for…and the list goes on and on.

These days, we only get to take a day-off when we’re feeling really really sick—and more often than not, we even feel guilty for not going to work!

These days, it’s just so easy to be an adult because we are faced with obligations. that we sometimes forget the child in us.

But once in a while, no matter how difficult or impossible we think it is, doing something for yourself can be the most rewarding thing. It is healthier too.

So be a kid sometimes and ask yourself, “When was the last time I did something for myself?”

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Roger Federer

He was so happy during the semi-finals…

…but this morning (the finals lasted till nearly 1am), it was painful to see him give in to his emotions and let the tears out. It was remarkably admirable though to see one of the greatest tennis players in humble acceptance of his loss–such a gentleman. Australia was deeply saddened when Federer lost what could’ve been his 4th Australian Open, his 14th major title and a chance to probably regaining his Number 1 position in the Men’s Tennis. Nevertheless, win or lose, he is still a champion and a legend. He’s already made history and no one can take away what he has done in the world of tennis.

As for Rafael Nadal, I’m not yet a fan in the way that I am a Federer fan–wala pa sa level na ganun hehe…but I don’t mind Rafa being the number 1, he fights well and has a heart, like Federer, so maybe in the years to come, I would become a Nadal fan.

As for me, eto wala pa akong tulog. After the game and awarding, I was so sad, I can’t sleep—ganun ako ka-bothered hehehe. During the day, it was so hard to concentrate working because (1) I was so sleepy and (2) I kept exchanging emails with Ara and Chloe because we were analyzing the dynamics of the Federer-Nadal game. Kaloka!

However, we were all relieved too that the Aussie Open finally ended dahil two weeks na kaming puyat!!!!

Oh well, it was a great Australian Open this year. Lots of players that stood out, lots of surprises. Hopefully next year, it will be better.

To those who are planning to watch the Australian Open in the coming years, I highly recommend it because I swear, no country does Tennis tournaments the way Australia does. I’m not even being biased about this. I know someone who came from another country just to watch this year (and who is more of a tennis fan than I am) and said that the crowd here in Australia is so much better than any other crowd all over the world. Another friend has even vouched that in some tennis tournaments, the crowd’s boring that’s why tennis players love playing in the Aussie Open. All I can say is, Australia is a country who loves sports and who oreganizes events almost perfectly–and I think that alone is good basis.

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Is it Love or Toxic Love?

30 January 2009 7 Comments Category: Deep Thoughts, Tips

Here’s an article I found that might help in figuring out whether someone’s relationship with a significant other is doing one good.

I’ve had a lot of counseling sessions about L-O-V-E and one thing that I never forget to ask the counselee is whether the relationship they have with their loved one always (or generally) bring out the best in him/her. This article below somehow supports my views on the kind of love that a person should have, not because of societal standards but mainly because each person deserves to be truly loved.

A short list of the characteristics of Love vs. toxic love (compiled with the help of the work of Melody Beattie & Terence Gorski.)

1. Love – Development of self first priority.
Toxic love – Obsession with relationship.

2. Love – Room to grow, expand; desire for other to grow.
Toxic love – Security, comfort in sameness; intensity of need seen as proof of love (may really be fear, insecurity, loneliness)

3. Love – Separate interests; other friends; maintain other meaningful relationships.
Toxic love – Total involvement; limited social life; neglect old friends, interests.

4. Love – Encouragement of each other’s expanding; secure in own worth.
Toxic love – Preoccupation with other’s behavior; fear of other changing.

5. Love – Appropriate Trust (i.e. trusting partner to behave according to fundamental nature.)
Toxic love – Jealousy; possessiveness; fear of competition; protects “supply.”

6. Love – Compromise, negotiation or taking turns at leading. Problem solving together.
Toxic love – Power plays for control; blaming; passive or aggressive manipulation.

7. Love – Embracing of each other’s individuality.
Toxic love – Trying to change other to own image.

8. Love – Relationship deals with all aspects of reality.
Toxic love – Relationship is based on delusion and avoidance of the unpleasant.

9. Love – Self-care by both partners; emotional state not dependent on other’s mood.
Toxic love – Expectation that one partner will fix and rescue the other.

10. Love – Loving detachment (healthy concern about partner, while letting go.)
Toxic love – Fusion (being obsessed with each other’s problems and feelings.)

11. Love – Sex is free choice growing out of caring & friendship.
Toxic love – Pressure around sex due to insecurity, fear & need for immediate gratification.

12. Love – Ability to enjoy being alone.
Toxic love – Unable to endure separation; clinging.

13. Love – Cycle of comfort and contentment.
Toxic love – Cycle of pain and despair.

Love is not supposed to be painful. There is pain involved in any relationship but if it is painful most of the time then something is not working.

{source}

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Friday Thought Bubbles

9 January 2009 3 Comments Category: Deep Thoughts

I’ve got so many things on my mind, I just need to unload some so pardon the randomness.

  • First week of the New Year and our clan is saddened by the demise of a family member, one of my uncles. It was very sudden and we’re all in shocked when it happened. *sigh*. Our hearts are grieving with my aunt’s and cousins’ loss.
  • This month is my birthday month and our anniversary!!!
  • I’m looking forward to my time off work a week after next.
  • I’m thinking of going on a blog hiatus. A little part of me is getting tired. However, this morning I also realized that the reason why I write and share information via the blogosphere is because teaching/training is innate in me—I have a passion to teach…and other than work, it is via the blogosphere that I have the opportunity to teach, and that’s why I love writing now more than ever.
  • I’m glad it’s Friday today! I congratulate myself for being able to come to work for five days straight (it’s not easy when you’re used to working four days a week sometimes). The first week after the Christmas/New Year Holidays is always the hardest. It’s like my mind lacks its usual organizational skills or something. I get to finish tasks but I’m a bit slow, my mind keeps wandering somewhere. The good thing is, I like being at work and I love what I do.

Okay, back to work.

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Thank You 2008!

Since I got inspired by the year-end thank you’s I wrote last year (click! click! this please), I now look back once again on how this year has been good to me. I may have had dark moments but over-all the good surpasses (as it always does) whatever bad I have experienced this year.

My 2008 has been very eventful. If I were to describe it in one word, the first thing that comes to mind is MANIC–simply because the significant things that happened to me this year has either been ecstactically joyful or painfully sad (walang tulak-kabigin, lahat heavy-gat!). I looked back on my 2008 this morning, I shed a few tears because every event, both good and bad, beautifully happened for a reason, each one teaching a valuable lesson.

As I start my 2009 today, let just say my thank yous to 2008:

Thank you for (finally) bringing my husband home to me.

Thank you for the gift of a good marriage that is values-centered and has enormous faith in God.

Thank you for all the big and small milestones we achieved and for things falling into place. I’m grateful for every plan, every goal that has materialized.

Thank you for challenges I have faced. Each one difficult and at times painful, but has given me a tremendous lesson: that the world does not always revolve around me and that even if I was going thru hardships, I’m still (and will always be) capable of helping others.

Thank you for the blessing of special people in my life. My husband, parents, inlaws, relatives, friends. Each one of them has touched my life in so many ways.

Thank you for the gift of friendship. This year, there were several hellos and goodbyes with people. To the ones who said “Hello”, know that I’m blessed to have met you. To the ones who said “Goodbye”, thank you for being a part of my life–I will leave my door open incase you want to say “Hello” again.

Thank you for the gift of change and transitions. Sometimes nerve-wracking but always bringing out the best in me. It is thru these that I am able to discover strengths I never knew I was capable of.

Thank you for the gift of travel. With each place explored, I know more and I share more.

Thank you for the gift of photography and writing. Two things I love doing because I am able to show God’s wonderful creations and share information that may be able to help other people.

Thank you for a stable and not-so-hectic career. There are days when work was so demanding but it was always worth it because work also gave me back days-off that I could enjoy and a flexible time so I’m able accomplish my personal goals. I will always be grateful that the career I have now gives me more time to be a Wifey than a careerwoman.

Thank you for the gift of good advices. In times when confused and looking for answers, it was thru words of wisdom shared by people around me that has made a difference.

Thank you for the value of fear. Some people may not see it as a good value, but this year, I have learned that it is if you put it into good use. Fear was one of those values that gave me courage to make a big change in my life.

Thank you for the gift of safety and good health.

Thank you for all the memories, big and small. They made me who I am today and has made me cherish every moment that I’m alive.

As I say goodbye to 2008, I feel that with all the things I’ve gone thru, I say hello to 2009 a bigger and better person (the same feeling I have whenever a year has gone by).

Happy New Year everyone! May your 2009 be kinder, happier and always full of love.

Highlights of my 2008:

January. My very own DSLR. Our 1st Wedding Anniversary. My 31st birthday. “Say it with Photographs” website is born.

February. Little Lenten Sacrifice. Chris’ Spouse Visa Approval. Officially changed my name in Australia.

March. Problems with the Immigration regarding Chris’ date of departure from Dubai. Getting ready for my reunion with the Husband: travel preps and office preps. My SWEET REUNION WITH THE HUSBAND. Arrived in DUBAI!!!

April. Explored Dubai. A taste of Abu Dhabi. Quick stay in Singapore. Back home in Sydney with the Husband (finally!!!). Chris’ welcome party. Showed the Husband around the City of Sydney.

May. “Ibyang Doodles” website is born. A day at Blue Mountains. Chris’ grandma passed away. La Perouse and Brighton Beach exploration with Hilda, Andrea and Toti. Celebrated 10 years of being an HR Professional.

June. On Board Kix Tavora’s Team. Phantom of the Opera (The Musical).

July. World Youth Day 2008 (Australia). Billy Elliot (Musical).

August. Port Stephens Roadtrip. Snowy Mountains Adventure. Quick Stopover at Canberra. Blue Mountains Roadtrip. Fr. Fernando Suarez’ Healing Mass.

September. Chris’ Pre-birthday Party. False Alarm. Chris’ Birthday. Chris’ Post-Birthday Party. Dinner at Bahay Kubo with Friends. Trip to Berrima. Tulips Festival in Bowral.

October. Floriade Festival in Canberra. Approval of Australian Citizenship. Realizations. Bus Accident. Moving Day! Night Noodle Festival. Wine Tasting at the Hunter Valley. Halloween Night with the Kolokoys.

November. Meet-up and Lunch with Plurk Buddies Jo and Pen. Lunch Party for Our Relatives. Housewarming Party for the Kolokoys.

December. Christmas Chair Tree Lighting. Dear Pink. Chris Being Permanent at Work. Dinner at BBQ City. Dinner at Sagano. Wii Party. Christmas Eve Party. Our First Christmas Together. Sydney New Year’s Eve Party!

Favorite articles I’ve written for this year:

Blog Highlights:

Click on the colored phrases to refer back to the articles.

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