Ibyang
Ibyang

Deep Thoughts

Dr. Phil’s Advice On Getting Married

Sharing with you a very logical advice on getting married. I highlighted the values that my Husband and I believed in when it comes to our concept of preparing for a marriage. We read this a year before we wed and it was one of those things that gave us additional realization that we were indeed ready for marriage.

I hope soon-to-be newlyweds (and maybe even married couples) could learn something from this. Read on and enjoy!

Dr. Phil’s Advice On Getting Married

Everybody has core characteristics in their personality. Any incompatibility you experience with your partner won’t magically change. If you don’t address it before the wedding, they will only get worse and worse. Wedding papers change nothing!

If you’re divorced and have children, and ditto goes for your partner, that’s a huge deal! You’re not only merging two lives together, you’re merging two families with history. Work out issues until the threats of canceling the wedding stop, before walking down the aisle.

Too many people fall into the trap of preparing for the wedding, and not the marriage. Prepare for the marriage, and enjoy your wedding.

Remember your wedding is just a day, marriage is a lifetime.

You shouldn’t say we’re going to get married on X day. You need to say we’re going to get married when we’ve done the work to resolve the problems and we have a plan. Then, and only then, when you have a life plan and you feel good about each other, should you claim that victory by walking down the aisle.

If you really love each other, and want to get married, you will do the work to get to that point.

For people very young and in love, don’t put the adult phase into a preparation phase. You need to be an individual alone, before you can be an individual in a partnership. Grow and experience by yourself, before making the decision to get married.

If you haven’t done your homework, and things start to fall apart in your marriage, your child pays the price.

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Goodbyes Are Always A Sad Thing

…even if we’re so used to it.

On Friday (3 April 2009), our 2-week family reunion ended as Tita Cyn left for America.

We “celebrated” her last day in Sydney (Thursday, 2 April) by having Yum Cha for lunch.

Then we had a dinner despedida for her at The Balilo’s place…

where we all gathered around for the last time.

The following morning, it was time to go :(.

‘Til we see each other again Tita Cyn. We love you and we miss you. Mwah!

-o0o-

I had a chance to take photos when we were all saying our goodbyes at the airport, but I didn’t want to take photos of family goodbyes. I don’t need photographs to remember the pain of being apart from family.

Since I was a kid, I have fully understood what it means to love from afar. My mother’s clan are scattered in three continents of the world: America, Asia, Australia. Our hearts have always been battered by unhappy departures at the airport. We always knew that every happy reunion will always come to an end but still it hurts just the same.

To everyone who patiently read about my clan’s 2-week reunion in Sydney, thank you! I apologize if I bombarded you with endless photographs of our adventure.

Starting next week, I will resume writing about my Wifey adventures.

For more photographs, kindly check (and bookmark) http://ibyangbabe.multiply.com/. All photos will be uploaded there soon.

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Affirmation for the Week: Inner Peace

My quiet mind
is the foundation

of my inner peace.

I’m a believer of inner peace and the journey to achieving it took a lot of life-changing discoveries for me. I like having a calm mind and a happy gentle disposition. I make sure that whatever I do, it is based on good values I uphold and sincere intentions.

From a forwarded email, let me share this with you:

Be on the lookout for symptoms of inner peace.

The hearts of a great many have already been exposed to inner peace and it is possible that people everywhere could come down with it in epidemic proportions. This could pose a serious threat to what has, up to now, been a fairly stable condition of conflict in the world.

Some signs and symptoms of inner peace:
* A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fears based on past experiences.
* An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.
* A loss of interest in judging other people.
* A loss of interest in judging self.
* A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.
* A loss of interest in conflict.
* A loss of the ability to worry. (This is a very serious symptom.)
* Frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation.
* Contented feelings of connectedness with others and nature.
* Frequent attacks of smiling.
* An increasing tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen.
* An increased susceptibility to the love extended by others as well as the uncontrollable urge to extend it.

WARNING: If you have some or all of the above symptoms, please be advised that your condition of inner peace may be so far advanced as to not be curable. If you are exposed to anyone exhibiting any of these symptoms, remain exposed only at your own risk.

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LDR Chronicles

When I wrote two articles regarding surviving Long Distance Relationships (LDR), it never occured to me that there are a lot of people who would be able to relate to my LDR entries. And why not? When in fact lots of families, husbands and wives, boyfriends and girlfriends and soon-to-be couples are indeed going thru this overwhelming experience.
I’ve received a couple of messages asking me where they can find my LDR articles and so here it is:
The first LDR article I actually wrote was December 2006, in time for my ex-boyfriend (now husband) and I’s 4th syota-anniversary.
In this entry, I wrote about how we sacrificed being apart in the midst of our wedding preparations. I wrote about how we miss our life in the Phils and how we kept our cool inspite of the life-changing decision we have made–and that is to be apart in order to fulfill our dreams.
The second article was about how we were able to survive another 14 months of separation, this time, after our wedding.
This experience was more painful in the sense that we parted having a more binding connection (we were husband and wife!). When I dropped off my Husband at the airport (he left two days before I went back to Sydney) in time for his flight to Dubai, I almost didn’t let go. I thought it would be easier saying goodbye for the second time, but it wasn’t–it was so much harder. And thing was, we didn’t know when will see each other again (unlike our first separation). However, we tried our best to practice loving smartly—which for us meant, focusing on our goals, being positive and hopeful.
Looking back at what I’ve written, I will admit that both articles still tugs at my heart, some phrases still bring back some tears and reminds me sometimes of good and not-so-good moments we’ve had when we were apart. It’s nice to go back to the learnings, it is useful at most times when we are having rough times now that we are finally together. There’s also a sense of accomplishment after the LDR stage is thru, gives more definition to the innermost core of our relationship. At the end of it all, we both just said, “It wasn’t so bad, after all.”
So to you my loving readers: have faith, have hope and have love…always.
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Having True Friends…

make up for not having a brother/sister.

I always think that having true friends is God’s way of making me feel like I have a brother/sister (lots of them actually). Anybody may argue with me that having a friend is never the same as having a brother or a sister. Argue all you want, but I’d rather count my blessings and not look for something (or someone) I don’t have.

I find it rude sometimes when people immediately passes judgement by saying “Ay, isa ka lang na anak, eh di ang lungkot ng buhay mo?” when I tell them that I’m an only child. And my answer has always been “No”. Never in my mind or heart that I feel something is missing in my life just because I never experienced having a sibling. What I always feel is that I have special people in my life who will always be there for me and whom I’m bonded not by blood, but by heart.

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