Ibyang
Ibyang

Deep Thoughts

This Week Is Not My Week

5 December 2007 0 Comments Category: Deep Thoughts

everything seems to be not working…this week is definitely not my week (and the week isn’t even over yet!!!).

…my internet server at home is dying on me…i just realized that almost everyday, my internet connection is giving me lots of headache. hence, i haven’t been blogging for the past few days. i’ve ran out of patience. miraculously, the internet is working right now but i’m typing so fast so that just incase i get disconnected again, my entry will be finished and you will read something from me—and you’ll know that i’m still alive.

…the phone i use for texting my parents is dysfunctional, can’t seem to send messages. bakit? ewan, may load naman.

…monday morning, i wasn’t able to use my computer at work because my login and password was expired according to our IT, which drove my boss nuts because that isn’t supposed to happen to me because i’m a permanent employee already. good thing, they were able to fix it, pati boss ko uminit ang ulo.

…since yesterday, my phone at work is bogus. everytime somebody rings me up, the call goes to another extension line. que horror!!!! until this afternoon, whatever the admin officer is doing to fix it up ain’t working.

…i can’t get work done at the office: (1) i’ve got two new training administrators on the team and my time is mostly spent teaching them on how to do things (i try to look at it as a blessing, at least may taong gagawa ng trabaho kesa naman wala) (2) today was spent attending meetings, tomorrow and friday morning i will attend two more meetings respectively, namumuro ako ng meetings while work is piling up.

…and last, i requested my husband to do something for me last week and until now, he hasn’t emailed it me. and i’m not feeling really really good about the delay this time because in my point of view, i’ve been understanding and patient enough. i’m trying my best to understand him but honestly speaking, i am already angry right now, given the fact that last weekend i already told him my sentiments about how i feel about the situation. before writing this part, i checked my gmail to see if he had sent what i need, and he hasn’t. galit na talaga ako. (for me to write it here, talagang galit na ako.)

i can be the most positive, sensible, patient and understanding person. i know what the word “magtiis” means. and i can cope thru hell or rain anytime. but sometimes, with so many not so good things happening around me, i can’t help but feel anger. i’m trying my best to be on top of everything, to be calm and not be affected by my emotions. but if i don’t let things like this out, i will burst in a very negative way. i am a woman and i hate being taken for granted.

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Friday Me Day

I declared an Ibyang’s Day last Friday because I had another day off from work and this time, I focused on shopping just for myself. I can’t really say I was very happy about shopping for myself. Apparently, I discovered that I didn’t like shopping as much as I used to. Shopping nowadays turn out to be more of a chore rather than an activity that relaxes or de-stresses me.

The main reason for a Me-Myself-and I-Shopping was because there was a need for me to buy clothes for upcoming events and update my make-up kit (it was time to get rid of old make-up). So basically, my shopping was more of a need and not a want. Nevertheless, last Friday was a gift to myself because I got to spend it with one of my favorite companions—ME! 🙂

And to celebrate my day, I had lunch at this quaint, little cafe called Meza Cafe.

I had a big glass of fresh orange juice and a plate of Calamari, Chips and Salad

As usual, being able to sit down and have a decent, pleasurable and quiet lunch meant more to me than buying all those girly stuff that I bought.

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Wallet Conversations and Taking Care of Your Loved Ones

I’m sure everybody can relate to this scenario: Feeling so down because you lost your most precious wallet and praying that hopefully the one who got your wallet would at least return the important cards, mementos or photographs inside your wallet. Yung tipong ganito ang dialogue mo: Kunin nya na lahat ng pera, pero sana isauli naman yung mga churva ko. Money is definitely replaceable but the special mementos we keep inside our wallet mean a lot to us.

I have experienced my wallet being snatched from me when I was studying High School in Caloocan City. Fortunately, I was able to get my wallet back because I chased after the thief. That was how important my wallet was to me (and still is), not because of the money inside it (duh barya lang naman ang laman nun) but because I held important cards and mementos there. Until now that I’m a grown up, mahilig pa rin akong maglagay ng mementos sa wallet ko, tulad nang:

  • My East West Bank ID – because whenever I see this photo, it reminds me of happy times spent in East West Bank. The photo in this ID also reminds me that once upon a time I wore braces on my teeth.
  • SSS Card – because this card reminds of the time I graduated from College. Ang una ko kasing ginawa nang mag-graduate ako from College is to get my SSS card.
  • My 2 Health Cards: (1) Private Health Fund and (2) Medicare from the Government – these cards make me feel safe. yon na!
  • Credit Cards – Visa, Mastercard and AMEX
  • Calling Cards – I keep calling cards of important people or establishments that I might need to contact: Chris’ call card just incase I need to contact him in the office; my bank’s customer service representative just incase I need assistance regarding my banking needs; my ex-recruitment officer’s card just incase I meet a Filipino somewhere and needs assistance in finding work here in Sydney; my gay hairstylist’s card so I can always check the salon if he/she is there; and Max Brenner’s calling card–hehehe, so that wherever I go, I’d always know if there’s a Max Brenner nearby (Max Brenner’s card has a list of their branches in their card)
  • Driver’s Licence
  • 5 Dirhams note – from Chris, souvenir from Dubai.
  • Lord of Pardon misal – I won’t feel safe if I don’t have this inside my wallet
  • Photographs – (1) of Chris and (2) of Chris and I

What about you? What’s inside your wallet?

Since we’re already on the topic of wallets, let me also share with you this forwarded email I got a few years back. This is one of my favorite essays forwarded via email:

Take Care of Your Wallet


“… you don’t want all these better-looking wallets. You want
yours, because of how comfortable it is, because of all the cards and
pictures and other stuff in it.”

My old Humanities II professor used to tell us that wallets were a
lot like girls, “Dapat mong ingatan, kasi kung hindi mo iningatan, baka
may mangyari.”

I know what he means. I just lost a wallet, and I just lost a girl.
You know, it’s the same thing. One day, you just realize it’s gone. You
try to look for it everywhere, even going back to the places where you
could have lost it. You think, and you think hard, only to come upon a
grim realization: it’s really gone.

Of course, you can hold on to some hope. After all, there have been
some very, very lucky (blessed?) people who got theirs back. Perhaps you
could become one of those people. You sit around at home and you hope
that someone would call, and that you would get it back. But then, some
time passes,and you realize that it’s still gone, and you realize that
it’s time to let go.

The first few days, you turn to your friends for support. Some tell
you you’ll be ok, some tell you it was your fault and that you should
have been more careful, and some tell you about their own experiences.
They give you all sorts of advice, none you haven’t heard before.

You then go out to find a new wallet, only to realize that you don’t
really want a new one. You want the old that you lost. No, you don’t
want all these better-looking wallets. You want yours, because of how
comfortable it is,because of all the cards and pictures and other stuff in it.

You go out and carry on without a wallet, keeping your money in your
pocket instead. You throw away stuff that you would have held on to if
you had your old wallet. And then, finally, you find a new wallet you
like and settle in.

You then start filling your new wallet, little by little. It still
doesn’t feel as comfortable as the old one, but it’s getting there. Then
you start putting in cards and pictures and other important stuff into the
wallet.

Soon enough, there’s as much stuff in your new wallet as the old
one. And then, after some time, you feel as comfortable with your new
wallet.

And then you realize that you’ve almost forgotten you ever had your
old wallet. Sure, you still remember most of the stuff you lost with
that wallet. But then again, you don’t remember the hurt when you lost
it.

That’s because that wallet you lost is no longer yours. You’re no
longer holding on. This new wallet you’re holding has all the important
cards and pictures and stuff that you need. This is your wallet.

And this time, you tell yourself you’re never losing this one.

– Anonymous

This entry was inspired by Anne‘s tag “What’s inside my Wallet?”. Please feel free to tag yourself.

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My Christmas Wish List

13 November 2007 0 Comments Category: Deep Thoughts

This is the season to be jolly, merry and generous…so here’s my first ever Christmas wish list.

At this point, you will discover that I can be very specific with things I want and from whom I will ask what I want. Ganun talaga ako, pati sa needs and wants organized hehehe.

From Myself

Until now, I haven’t decided what I will give myself this Christmas. Since I have travel plans next year, medyo mas kuripot ako ngayong mga panahong ito sa sarili. But if I were to become surprisingly generous to myself, I’d get myself a DSLR camera. But if I’m too coward to buy anything as expensive as that, I’d probably just buy myself a very good bag that I will use for work or travel.

From Chris

  • Resignation from his work in Dubai. This will of course depend on his visa approval which I’m hoping will happen before Christmas.
  • Make an artwork of me. It has been my dream that I’d be drawn by an artist. I told him this is what I want for Christmas but there are no deadlines coz according to him, it will take him months to do this. And the things is, this wish seems to be a challenge coz I told him I want a cartoon-ized me. Gets? I want an Ibyang-inspired cartoon artwork. All the more making it difficult for him.
  • Since we won’t be together for Christmas (again), I just want to receive a greeting card from him.

From My Parents

  • A mobile phone. This is actually a need and not a want. I need a second phone coz when Chris and I move out of my tita’s place, we have to have a phone that my parents can text for only P1.00 (Smart). So the phone I’m using now, will be our Smart phone, while the new one will be my Aussie phone. I specifically told them I want a phone that flips and has a 2megapixels camera. For other specs the phone might have, I don’t really care. Maging simple na sya at lahat basta dapat 2 megapixels ang camera.
  • Commitment to being healthy.

From my relatives and friends here in Sydney–kung trip nyo talaga akong bigyan, you can choose from these:

  • bath towels
  • serving plates or bowls (different colors)
  • cook books
  • DVD: The Lake House (this is tricky–you have to let me know if you got me this at baka maka-limang DVD ako nitong movie na ito hehehe)

From my friends and online buddies abroad, if you ever think of me this Christmas, don’t buy me a Christmas card, instead I encourage you to do any one of these:

  • add P30.00 (if you live in the Phils) or $10.00 (those living abroad) in the Christmas Mass Offertory
  • give a bag of groceries to your parish church or to a less fortunate family in your neighborhood
  • sort out your closet and gather up the clothes and shoes you don’t wear anymore and donate it to an institution or orphanage
  • cook a simple merienda and ask some of the less fortunate kids in your neighborhood to join you.

Should you be able to do any of these or maybe you have another way of showing generosity to other people, I will consider that your gift to me 🙂 and I will be very very happy.

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Celebrating My 2nd Year at Work (Long Read)

Remember my Affirmation on a Friday entry:

I came up with that affirmation because that was the day I had a 3:00pm job interview. To date, that was the most challenging moment I had to face in my entire career in Australia. That interview meant a lot to me as I had to conquer a lot of insecurities within me and I needed to prove something to myself.

I started work here about two years ago. When I arrived here in Sydney, my goal was to find a job ASAP. At that time, I was ready to do anything just to have work—I even readied myself to work in a supermarket as a “bag boy”. Since I was starting from scratch, I was open to starting from the lowest of low. Kinalimutan ko kung ano ako sa Pilipinas bago ako umalis. Tinanggal ko ang pride ko. Basta, hinanda ko ang sarili ko kasi kailangan ko ng trabaho.

The next day after I arrived here, I did everything that I had to do: applied for a Tax File Number, opened an account at the bank, went to Centrelink, then went to a recruitment agency. On my second day, I went to another recruitment agency. On my third day, I stayed home but I looked for work online. Send lang nang send ng resume. After sending a resume to a certain agency, I received a phone call from them, asking me to go to their office the following day. They wanted me to take some tests. Fourth day, I went to their office and my tests were alright. Fifth day, they called me again, this time for an interview the following Monday.

Monday, two recruitment officers interviewed me. I told them I want a job in recruitment. They told me they’d let me know if a position opens up in recruitment. At that time, my cousin went with me because she, on the other hand, was applying for a part-time job. While waiting for her at the lobby, one of the recruitment officers came out and saw me. Ganito ang dialogue:

Her: Hey, you’re still here.

Me: Why?

Her: A government office needs a Training Administrator for two months, would you like to take that while waiting for a recruitment position?

Me: Yeah, sure. Where is this gonna be?

Her: It’s in Glebe.

Me: Where’s that?

Her: Inner city.

Me: Okay, so when do I start?

Her: Tomorrow

Me: (in silent shock) what???

So that’s how I got my first job in Sydney…in a government office as a contractual employee. For the first time in my life, naging contractual ako. No financial security, no benefits. No work, no pay. I thought I won’t be able to stay long because of the “insecurity” I felt but I stayed because I love my work, I love what I do and I love training. I tried looking for other jobs but I was never that serious.

Finally, the government office I was working for advertised the position I was filling in. It’s official, the position is open to application. So I applied. The application was tedious. It’s not like in the Phils na magbigay ka ng resume, mag-exam, mag-interview ka, wait ka na lang for results. Just for the application, I had to write an essay for each Criteria/Job Description, I had to write down how I’m capable of each criteria they’re looking for in an applicant. Para akong nag-submit ng mahabang essay! Kasi kung di ako pasado sa paperworks ko, I won’t be called for an interview. So I had to sell myself by what I wrote there.

When I submitted my application, I asked my boss, “How many applications did you receive?” He said, “We received 140 applications.” Then I asked again, “How many Training Administrators do you need?”. And he answered, “We only need four.”

Patay na! 140 applications and they only need 4. Bahala na. I told my husband and parents to pray for me everyday. My mom even went to Sta. Clara to pray for me. Some of my friends who knew, told me to stay positive. They kept assuring me I’d get the job.

July of this year, I was called for an interview. Yehey!!! I was nervous and scared. Normally, di naman ako masyadong nerbyosa pagdating sa interview. Sanay na ako—sa Pilipinas!!!! Pero Aussie eto eh, panel interview pa! Baka sa sobrang nerbyos ko, di ko maintindihan ang kanilang English accent. At isa pang kinakatakot ko ay baka ma-biktima ako ng racial discrimination. In our office, I’m the only Filipino and I think I was the first Filipino employee in the department. Pressure diba? From the start that I worked there, gusto kong mapakita sa kanila kung gaano kahusay ang Pinoy. At may pressure din ako sa sarili ko. Pagdating kasi sa akin, ako at ako lang ang kalaban ko. May standard ako para sa sarili ko at yun ang focus ko pagdating sa career ko, sa buhay ko. I’m competitive, yes, but I only compete with myself. I don’t mind failing but I always make sure that I do my best in everything I do. Hindi ako takot matalo sa kahit anong laban (sanay na akong matalo) basta dapat alam ko lang sa sarili ko na ginawa ko lahat ng makakaya ko.

The interview went well. During that time, I realized that regardless whether my employers were Pinoy or Aussie, kaya ko, na magaling ako (sorry, nagbuhat ako ng sariling bangko). At kahit mag-English accent pa sila dyan sa harap ko, kaya ko palang makipagsabayan sa kanila kahit pressured ako. But here’s the thing: feeling ko magaling ako, pero paano kung mas may magaling pa sa akin? At isa pa, feeling ko lang naman itong lahat.

And so I had to wait…wait for a very long while for the application to get finalized. Waiting for the application did me good in a lot of ways. I realized that I love what I do. I realized that I’m really meant to be in training even if I want to try other fields of HR, even if I always look for a job in recruitment. One time, na-guilty rin naman ako. Kung nakakapagsalita lang ang training, baka sinabi nya na sa akin na “Bakit ba ayaw mong mag-stay sa akin when I’ve always been here for you?” Which is true. In the course of my career, I was never out of a job and all because there’s always a training job for me wherever I go. I really owe a lot to training if only for this.

I also realized that when you really love what you do, you stay there even if you are lacking rewards or benefits based on your standards. I have experienced living out my mission without expecting rewards. Binigay ko ang 100% ko sa trabaho kahit contractual lang ako.

I have learned to live by just being grateful that I have work today even if there is no assurance I have work tomorrow. Araw-araw, na-practice ko ang mga clichés na “Live in the present” at “Today is a gift.” While some people are bored or unhappy with their jobs, I on the other hand, is just happy with just the thought I have a job that I love.

I told myself last week that I won’t celebrate my two years at work (I won’t even acknowledge it, sabi ko deadmahin ko na lang) this year if I still don’t hear anything about the application. I will admit that I was feeling a little down because it was taking so long. But I guess God wanted me to celebrate because last Monday, I was told that I got the position I wanted and worked for. After so many challenges, adjustments and prayers, I made it! I’m finally a permanent employee in a government office.

Yesterday, I received my offer letter and the biggest surprise of all was that my start date was Oct 22!!! Pati boss ko nagulat (the letter came from Head Office), sabi nya “nag-start ka na pala officially di pa natin alam.” (of course he said that in English hehehe).

So today I do not only celebrate my two years at work (even if I wasn’t even at work today hehehe) but I also celebrate a new beginning for me—this time as a full-pledge public servant in the land of Koalas and Kangaroos. To my family and friends who prayed and cheered for me, thank you very much!!!!! You were the candles that lit my way while travelling thru my dark tunnel. Maraming maraming salamat sa inyong lahat! And to me, Happy 2nd Anniversary at work!!! Cheers!!!

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