Deep Thoughts

Dream

9 February 2008 0 Comments Category: Deep Thoughts

I just had a bad dream. I dreamt I was in my High School Reunion and for some reason, I was tasked to be the photographer of the class. The good part of the dream was I saw everyone’s faces clearly as if I just saw them yesterday. The bad part was after the pictorial, all my photos were blah 🙁 I was nearly in tears but I woke up (I usually wake up when my dreams turn into something bad).

Now I know what this is about. I’m totally having guilt feelings about photography lately because I haven’t touched a camera for two weeks. Yep, two weeks. What’s to blame? (not that I need blaming):

  • the rain that never seem to stop falling for the past couple days here in Sydney
  • books that need reading because things may happen very quickly in the nearest (!) future so I need to be ready any minute
  • during weekends I spend most of my time studying for the citizenship exam
  • sometimes I’m just too lazy or too tired to get up and shoot

Oh well, hopefully the sun shines a bit today or tomorrow and I’ll probably do some wandering with my camera.


Belated happy birthday Dad!!!! Hope you had a lovely day with mom yesterday. We love you very much!!!!! – from you anaks, Chris and Ivy =)

-o0o0o0o-

Personal note:

No, I didn’t forget my father’s birthday. In fact, he was the first person that I talked to yesterday morning to greet him a happy birthday (nauna ko pa syang tawagan kaysa sa asawa ko). What’s kinda amusing was that when he picked up the phone, I said “Happy birthday Dad!!!!”…and he immediately answered back, “Happy anniversary!!!”. We were both greeting each other, both thinking how important the day was to both of us.

But I did forget to put my greetings on site last night.

Because honestly, I’m going thru an emotional week as I’m battling whatever nostalgia I’m feeling due to the anniversary-birthday thing going on in my life. It is not easy celebrating an anniversary and a birthday apart from the most important people in my life. I will never deny that a part of me is very sad because my husband and parents are far away from me right now.

So for this week, I’m giving myself some slack and I’ll just go with the flow. I’m just gonna lie-low this week from everything–work, photography, books I need to read, even blogging. And I’m not even gonna watch what I eat (haha!). I will gradually get my heart healed and I promise next week, I will share all my pre, post and during bday photos and my thoughts about our 1st year anniversary. Promise! I have a lot of things and ideas brewing inside my head but I just want my heart and mind to rest this week, I just need a lot of “me” time —anyway, it’s my birthday week. And I think I deserve it.

Special mention: Tita Cyn, I got your voice message, thank you!!!! If you plan to call us tomorrow, the best time would be around 8:30pm (Aus time).

Have a great week everyone! =)

*DSLR-ing is my shortcut for the phrase “using a DSLR camera”.

I’m a novice in photography. And I’m actually not so high-tech (as in knowledgeable about gadgets). That’s why I was very scared to try to learn DSLR-ing alone. Alone, meaning without my husband.

Although I may know something about the world of photography because the husband and our friends are into it and I somehow know how to critique because I read and study, but working with a DSLR camera is something I’ve never really done til my DSLR came into existence 12 days ago. Yeah I’ve tried husband’s camera a couple of times, but I never really took it seriously.

And so after 12 days of DSLR-ing, what can I say?

The experience of unraveling the camera is not so bad as I thought it would be. Medyo na tarantated lang naman ako kung ano ang uunahin kong gawin nang buksan ko ang box! hehehe. Minsan, lumalabas ang pagka-girl ko sa mga ganitong sitwasyon eh. Overwhelming kasi ang excitement at nerbyos na nararamdam na parang may bago akong laruan.

I realized that I have a lot to learn!!!! Hindi pa talaga enough yung mga pagbabasa ko nang isang buong taon dahil wala naman akong hands-on. Although the tips I have somehow remembered in my heart and soul (naks!) but still it’s different when you put it into practice. And in general, there’s really a lot to learn about photography. So happy learning to me forever and ever!

After one week of DSLR-ing, I feel (take note: I feel, meaning feeling ko lang ito) that I’m not that bad (as in super duper bad) in terms of achieving good shots. I’m slow, I admit, but I have shots that are “passable” (as in pasado/pwede na/matino kahit papaano). I send my photos to the husband and according to him I may be amateurish but I’m able to capture what I want to express. And with that comment, I’m truly satisfied because at least, I’m on the right track.

Photography is tiring!!!! Tiring for me because I’m only starting to learn. Because when I take a shot, my brain, my hands and my eyes are working. Mapapagod ka pala talaga pag nagsa-start ka kasi sobrang concentration ang kailangan kasi nag-iisip ka tapos nagfo-focus ang mga mata at mga kamay mo. Pati pagtayo at pag-breathe mo kasali sa equation para makakuha ng magandang shot. Now that I’ve experienced that, I apologized to my husband. Because at the time that he was still getting used to his DSLR, I kept on asking “ba’t ganun ang photo?”, “ba’t ang pangit?” hehehe. Feeling ko pag nag-DSLR ka, automatic na maganda ang mga shots mo, pero you work on it pala talaga. Camera + Your Skill = Good Photograph. But I know in time, it won’t be so tiring anymore–I’ll get used to it when I learn more skills in time.

I have so many mistakes!!!!! But when I saw how my photos turned out, I just laughed. I tell my husband the bloopers I’ve made recently and I was laughing while talking to him. At one point, I wasn’t even using my one and only lens “properly” coz it was turned off (nge!!!). Anak ng tokwa talaga! =P

I’m having fun. Whether I’m having difficulty learning because the husband is away (he lectures over the phone while I take down notes) or having difficulty finding time to sit down, learn and do photoshoots—it’s all fun! I’m learning and when I’m learning something new or something that interests me, that keeps me happy.

My camera is my most prized-possesion right now and if you’re gonna ask me what are the 3 most important things in my life right now, it would be Chris, my parents and my camera–in that order hehehe. I never thought I’d be able to say this because I never really understood Chris when he told me before that next to me, his camera is his most prized-possession. Now I totally understand him.

So there, my in-a-nutshell feelings about using a DSLR camera. And to sum it up: I love it!!! The fulfillment I felt when I was using a Point&Shoot has now been doubled with the experience of using a DSLR camera =)

The year 2007 will always be special to me because it is a year of Transitions and Discovery. This was a year that has given me so much opportunity to grow and spread my wings. This was a year that tested my strength to the limit. This was a year of finding out what I am capable of doing, feeling, thinking and sharing.


As my Daddy said yesterday over the phone, “Nakaraos din.” and I couldn’t agree more. This year was one hell of rollercoaster ride for me as I had a lot of highs that made me love life even more and some lows which made me get up and say, “Bring it on!” Thru God’s grace, the year was very kind to me in lots of ways and so here goes my Thank you’s to 2007:

Thank you for giving me a lot of reasons to celebrate: my marriage to Chris, my 30th birthday, healthy parents, Chris passing his interview and medical exam for his spouse visa application, getting a permanent job in a government office, acquiring a learner’s license, my 5th syota-anniversary with Chris and my 2nd year in Sydney.

Thank you for the challenges that made me stronger: changing my name, adjusting to married life, leaving the Phils again, being apart from my husband, robbery of our house in Taytay, dysfunctional dramas of our car in the Phils, being interviewed for the position I applied for, waiting for Chris’ spouse visa approval and going thru an ultrasound exam alone just to know whether I’m healthy or not.

Thank you for the biggest transitions I’ve experienced so far: being a wife, being 30 and becoming one of the senior member of our team in the office.

Thank you for the gift of travel: Going home to the Phils for a visit, my honeymoon with Chris which took us to Boracay, Bohol, Cebu, Hongkong and Shenzhen, China, and I was able to visit more areas in Sydney.

Thank you for family and friends: Chris who loves me unconditionally, my parents and relatives who supports me, old friends who never tire of being there for me and new friends that added vibrance to my life.

Thank you for the gift of learning acquired thru my passions in life: people, food, coffee, travel and photography.

Thank you for re-uniting me with activities I love: watching theatre plays and playing badminton.

Thank you for the opportunity to do something I thought I never could: to model and be photographed.

Thank you for the gift of writing: I am able to reach out to people and share my thoughts.

Thank you for a lot of material blessings and comfort in my everyday living, some of which I am able to share with the less-fortunate.

Thank you for the little things: the ones I notice and the ones I seem to take for granted.

Thank you for the gift of inner peace and faith: that even if circumstances sometimes give me uncertainties, I am able to sleep well knowing that tomorrow will be a better day and that God will always be faithful to me.

With all the memories made this year–with all the joys, challenges and learning–I will say goodbye to 2007 a little more better and bigger of a person. I will leave 2007 with more hope, faith and love.

And to my dear family and friends, may your 2008 be as sparkling as you hoped it to be!

Credits: Photography by Jonathan Dael and Graphics by Chris Sanchez.

Three reasons why I had to go out today: (1) To buy personal stuff that I would need for next year; (2) To visit a travel agency and inquire flights and costs of flights going to Dubai; and (3) To spend some quality time with myself, just to think and relax and de-stress.

I decided to finally finish shopping for things that I will need for next year (personal effects like undergarments, socks, moisturizers, facial sunblock and a cure for my Tendonitis) so that I won’t have to think of it anymore. I will have a pretty hectic year next year so in order to focus on what needs to be done, I have to have my personal stuff handy should the need arises. I have carefully made an inventory of what I have right now and I’m good to go for next year. I can practically not buy any vitamins, cosmetics, bags and clothes for the whole year of 2008. I realized that everytime I shopped for the past few weeks prior to Christmas, I was unconsciously buying stuff I will need for next year. And that is good. At least when the husband arrives, we will be able to focus on what he needs especially that he’s starting a new life here.

I finally found the time and urge to visit the travel agency. It feels good to finally be able to talk to someone about my travel plans for next year and know the flight schedules and how much it will cost me to go to Dubai. I had a very giddy feeling when I left the travel agency while holding the paper that states my tentative booking. I’m sooo thirsting for travel talaga. Other than wanting to see my husband, I have this aching feeling of wanting to step on an airplane and just go far far away.

I ended my day-out by hanging out at Starbucks. I ordered a tall Americano and Caramel Cheesecake and savored it while thinking of what I have to thank for in the year 2007. I just had to diligently think about it coz my year was really “Whoah!”. There’s so much that happened this year that I just had to carefully think about it and organize my thoughts. I have to say thank you to 2007 properly so I can welcome 2008 properly too and I can only do that when I write it down.

How about you? What are you grateful for in 2007? What are your personal highlights this year? And what are your preparations for year 2008?