Ibyang
Ibyang

Let Him Have His “Me” Time, Too

I have always shared my “Me” times and I’ve always been grateful for having a partner who gives me the space I need on a regular basis. 


Since I’m a strong believer of “Me” times, I encourage and let my Husband have his “Me” time too.

latte love

I mentioned before that the Husband and I seldom take our day-off (Note: In Australia, some companies give employees an extra day off work that you can take any day of the work week) together.  Not that we don’t want to spend extra time with each other but because we want to give each other the space to spend the day however each of us want.

Sometimes we’d joke and say, “Yay! I have the house to myself while you’re at the office!”  While we love hanging out together, I think it’s healthy whenever we’d say that joke to each other.  When the Husband’s on a day-off, I love it when the day is about to end, he’d call me at the office and ask, “What time are you going home?”.   I feel my heart go a bit tender knowing that deep inside he misses me. 

On days when he felt like going to the mall and do grocery by himself, I let him.  Shopping for grocery may only be his little excuse because he probably just wants to check out the latest gadgets in the shops by himself so he can have more time to play with them.  This kind of “Me” time is truly a big help to me.  Imagine, skipping doing grocery once in a while?  Not only do I have more time to do other stuff I want to do, he also becomes more of an expert when it comes to doing grocery shopping. 

Thursday night is shopping night in Sydney.  Shops in the city close at 9:00pm and that’s everyone’s opportunity after work.  When I’m feeling tired, I’d go home and let the Husband do his own shopping.  He’d normally walk around the shops for an hour before going home.  He appreciates this time because it helps take off the stress he’s had at work.   

Some Friday nights we’d have separate drinks-after-work parties with our workmates.  I never join him with his friends from work because that’s when I grab the opportunity to be with my workmates, too.  After an hour of two with our mates, we’d rejoin for a late dinner date and share stories of how our week at work had been.  This may not be an exclusive “Me” time but I believe going out separately with friends is healthy for both of us.

Everyday at night, he spends a few minutes in our balcony before going to bed.  He enjoys looking out the streets below us and the quiet that comes with it.  It’s his time to reflect on what happened that day and thinks about the things he look forward to tomorrow.
 
Those are just a few of his “Me” times.  Most of it are just a short time for him to relax and de-stress.  Quick, fleeting moments, but nevertheless, important in his daily life because it makes him happier and healthier.

This entry is for Toni‘s Blog Carnival, “It’s a Wife’s Life”.  Join now!

    16 Comments

  1. kg

    hi ibyang! i totally agree with your thoughts. but i will go beyond the wife-husband or bf-gf thing. we all need to be by ourselves from time to time. away from anyone else. period. 🙂

    i make it a point that at least, and i mean at least, once a week, i get to be by myself, be it at the mall, at church, or when traveling. some even ask me pano ko daw nagagwa yun. haha! we need those times alone, trust me. diba nga, we need to nourish ourslves to be able to love and be of service to others. 🙂

    [ang haba na pala ng comment ko. parang post na. he he! sorry ibyang!]

  2. Ibyang

    @kg thank you for your very nice comment. i totally agree with you regarding having time for oneself. it is certainly a must for everyone. in previous entries of mine, i’ve shared lots of times how i spend my me times and how i benefit from it. being able to give more to people we love and our passions in life are some of the signs that a person nourishes and loves oneself.

    this entry is an ode to how my husband enjoys his me times that’s why i thought of sharing it. and my way of saying thank you to him for appreciating the gift of this habit.

  6. sheng

    I always aask the husband if he wants to go be with his friends after office for some drinks, ayaw niya, hayyy. He has his “him” time only when they have lunch!

  10. Ibyang

    @sheng: my husband is also like that, he sometimes say that he’d rather hang out at home or be alone. but once in a blue moon, he gives in to peer pressure so he hangs out with them hehe.

  12. Martine | Daintymom.com

    Hi, Ibyang. 🙂

    I absolutely agree with you! My husband has daily “me” time in that he hits the gym at least six days a week. On some weekend nights, he has “guy” night with his friends, too. I don’t mind at all, especially since he’s a homebody-work at home parent like me.

    Of course, he encourages me to do the same! He gladly takes me to my “girl” bonding (‘cuz I don’t drive, heehee) or to my salon-spa days. I love it that we know how to give each other space–it’s SO important in a marriage.

  14. toni

    Yes to me time! Sometimes even if we’re at the mall together, my husband and I leave each other’s side for about one hour or two just so we could do our own thing. We need space to grow, right? 🙂

  15. Faye Paras

    Hello Ibyang! I love your blog. Will add it to my reading list. Thank you for leaving a comment on mine. I love this post! “Me” times were a big struggle for us (esp for me during my first year of being a mom). Now I’m starting to embrace the idea that it’s a big factor in keeping our relationship healthy. 🙂

  16. JMom

    Hi Ibyang, thanks for dropping by my blog for the carnival!

    I agree with everything you said, having a ME time is important in relationship. Although, when kids come into the picture, this becomes a bit more difficult. It’s been a while since my husband and I had an exclusive and intentional ME time, we try to carve out some alone time whenever we can. Be it solo trips to the grocery store or working in the garden, it’s still rejuvenating.

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