I feel as if I haven’t blogged in a long while. I’ve been busy, I’ve been inspired, I’ve been hurt, I went into some sort of self-retreat for a short while, and now I’m back, slowly getting inspired again.

I’ve Been Busy
Work is getting demanding day after day (it’s getting hard for me to blog at work hehehe), kumbaga sa isang tourist spot, peak season sa training ngayon. Everyone seems to want to be trained, trainers seem to be getting sick (probably because of the cold cold weather), everyone seems to be busy with their own dramas. Okay lang, this is nothing compared to my previous work in the Phils. Mas marami pa akong problema noon sa work kesa ngayon. So it’s all good. At least, when I look at the time, I now get shocked and say “Wow! 3 o’clock na! 1 more hour to go and I’m outta here.” (My work is only from 8:00am to 4:00om).

Saturday, I went to Ikea and DFO with my relatives. I finally bought cutleries. Yay! We can eat now. Our dining set is complete—plates, bowls, mugs, serving plates, drinking glasses and cutleries. I also bought some kitchen knick knacks like tea towels, strainer and chopping boards. After dinner the same day, I told Chris about my trip and expressed the concepts I want for our future home. He somehow agreed to my ideas but then we’ll see what happens when we do have a house.

I’ve Been Inspired
Other than blogging and watching koreanovelas that I borrow from my cuzins, what really eats up my time is my passion for photography and travel nowadays.

I’ve been studying options of what cameras I need/want to buy. At the moment, I’ve got three options and it’s taking me so long to decide. I’m not rushing myself though but I’m really looking for answers in terms of what to buy because it’s no joke having photography as a hobby. It’s very costly so I need to make a smart choice about this. And firstly, I need to decide what medium of photography I want to study—that is if I’m really going to get myself into it. *Sigh*. Hindi pa talaga ako sure.

I’ve been studying places we plan to go to. So far, we’ve managed to somehow finalize a travel plan for this year and the next. I’ve been researching thru the net, studying maps, reading information from forums, reading travel books in bookstores while also keeping watch of our travel fund.

Sometimes my eyes get hurt from all these studying and researching. But it’s fun. I get to learn. I feel like I’m still in school doing an assignment, but this time, it’s an assignment about life, of things that interests me and places I want to learn about.

I’ve Been Hurt and Went Into Self-Retreat
Friday night, somebody told me something negative about my interest for photography. It hurt me because the words came from a person I idolize and respect, his comments mean a lot to me so when I heard him equate my interest in photography to something negative about me, I can’t help but cry. Nalito tuloy ako. Bigla ko tuloy nasabi na baka nga hindi ako meant for photography. Tsaka bakit ganun? Being a trainer myself, it was never in my character to trample on other people’s dreams. As a trainer, I believe that learning and training develops people into better individuals. For someone close to me to say that my interest would result to me being a less better individual, it hurt a lot. Why does some people focus on the negative instead of the positive it will bring to a person?

Back to photography, I admit that I’m really having doubts on whether to pursue this hobby to the point that I will buy my own camera. When I heard him say those words, it made me doubt myself more. You see, I was never an art person…my interests before were music, dance and sports. Photography is really something different and this is something I’m unsure of until now. Another reason why I’m thinking so hard if I will pursue this hobby, is that I want to make sure I’m doing this because I want it, I love it and not because it’s my husband’s interest. I want to feel a real sense of fulfillment when I see my photographs and not because I just want to please my husband. You know what I mean?

With what had happened last Friday night, my interest in photography waned, ni ayoko munang humawak ng camera and I didn’t want to open photography sites. I was supposed to update my notes on photography over the weekend but I didn’t. I let myself and my mind rest.

Sunday morning, I saw Stephen Covey’s book called “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” when I opened my eyes (it’s near the bed, it just so happened that when I woke up, yun ang unang nakita ng mata ko) and I was reminded of the concept of being proactive. The negative words I heard last Friday, I decided I will use it as a challenge. Instead of being emotional about it, I’ll accept what he said and use it a means to better myself. Anyway, the reason why I am studying photography is because I want to develop myself. We’ll see if what my idol predicted will come true. The whole day of Sunday, I thought about it carefully on whether to continue learning photography. And I’ve decided that I have a chance. I choose to have a chance on this so I will do it. At the end of the day, at least I tried and I can say that I was able to rise above those negative comments that I heard.

Slowly Getting Inspired Again
Drama’s over. With the help of my beloved, I’m slowly getting my interest in photography back. And now I’m back online and blogging after two days of staying away from the computer. I have forgiven. I’m fine. I’m better now. I’m back!

Youth is wasted on the young – George Bernard

I would like to remember them all but I can’t. How I wish I was able to write everything down. Nasa huli talaga ang pagsisisi.

Anyway, here’s my list which I’ve divided into three categories: Sports, Music & Dance.

Sports

Badminton
1997-1998, Psychology Society, St. Paul QC, Silver
2003, East West Bank, Bronze

Volleyball
2001, East West Bank, Gold
2003, East West Bank

Cheerdancing
1991-1992, La Consolacion College Caloocan
1993-1994, La Consolacion College Caloocan
1995-1996, Psychology Society, St. Paul College QC
1997-1998, Psychology Society, St. Paul College QC

What I Remember:
Gruelling hours of practice, camaraderie with fellow athletes, injuries, late hours spent in school, my parents waiting at the parking lot, expenses!—gastos para sa uniform, sapatos, socks, bola, raketa, and doing assignments while taking a break from practices.

Hinding-hindi ko makakalimutan ang mga panahon na pinagsabay ko ang cheerdancing at badminton (senior year in SPCQ) dahil ang breaktime ko sa cheerdancing practice ay ginamit ko pa para mag-practice sa badminton.

Hinding-hindi ko rin makakalimutan na pinagsabay ko ang volleyball at badminton noong nasa East West Bank ako. Matapos maglaro ng badminton, lilipat lang ako sa kabilang court para maglaro naman ng volleyball.

Nandyang tamaan na ako ng bola ng volleyball sa mukha, dibdib at kung saan-saang pang parte ng katawan. Nandyang pumalo pa rin ako ng bola ng volleyball kahit may tahi na kamay ko dahil sa isang aksidente (na hindi related sa volleyball).

Nandyang nasapak ko ng raketa ng badminton ang sarili kong mukha para lang mataaman ang shuttlecock. Naranasan ko ring mag-half split para mahabol ang shuttlecock—buti na lang at cheerdancer din ako hehehe. At ang aking trademark, tuwing finals, may isa o dalawang beses na nabibitawan ko ang raketa ko habang tumitira (at lilipad siya sa ere) dahil sa sobrang pagod at pressure na nararamdaman. Naranasan ko na rin palang manakawan ng raketa (bwisit!).

Music

11-12 years old, Piano Lessons at Yamaha School of Music
1991-1998, OGHA Chapel, Choir Member
1990-1992, Glee Club, La Consolacion College Caloocan

Weddings where I sung:
Jon & Christine Baello, 1996
Chris & Shie Omnes, 2001

Albert & Ritzie Alano, 2001
Mark & Rizza Miagao, 2001
Mr. & Mrs. Xavier Lara, 2002 or 2003(?)
Elmo & Armi Dorado, 2005
Adrian & Shane Rapanut, 2005
Chris & Ivy Sanchez, 2007 J

Corporate Events where I sung:

East West Bank Christmas Party, 1999
East West Bank Christmas Party, 2000
EWBC RE-launching, 2001

There are a couple of more other events I was able to sing but I can’t remember them exactly—I think I also sang during a friend’s debut, my ex-boss’ birthday and during our division’s Christmas party.

What I Remember:
My everyday vocal practices-morning and afternoon, OGHA’s weekend practices, a very strict voice teacher (who is also very gay) we had in OGHA, trying to sing during Simbang Gabi, friendships developed during rehearsals, couples who were eternally grateful on their wedding day just because I sang their favorite lovesong(s).

Hinding-hindi ko makakalimutan ang naiwan kong sound system sa bahay namin sa Taytay, nang pagalitan ako ng tatay ko dahil ang aga-aga ay nagpa-practice na ako (nabubulahaw daw ang mga kapitbahay), nang mawalan ako ng boses sa mismong araw na kakanta ako sa kasal.

Nandyang naranasan kong mag-burp at maghikab habang kumakanta. Pag kulang sa aral ng kanta, syempre sintonado. Nandyang kumanta ako nang may sipon, ngo-ngo effect, kunwari nasal tulad ni Jaya hehehe. At naranasan ko na rin kumanta ng walang boses—yes, hangin lang ang lumalabas, buti na lang at kumpleto ang choir nang mga panahong iyon.

Dance

1992-19994, Dance Club, La Consolacion College Caloocan

What I Remember:
One word: Manoeuvres. Those who’ve known me since High School know my story about this famous group. I’m not going to tell the details now, past is past. Basta, they were a great influence to me when it came to dancing and for that I will always be grateful. Until now, I still remember what they’ve taught me, as in to the very core of me. They were really great teachers.

Looking back, I’m glad I did all these when I was younger. It sure has made me the person that I am now. I especially thank my parents for being so supportive and for letting me do whatever interests me.

Thru these activities, I have learned several disciplines I wasn’t able to acquire inside the classroom:

Time Management. Amidst juggling all my activities, I learned how to manage my time well so that my grades in school won’t suffer. I remember it was in high school when I started making To-do lists at home so I have an alloted time for practices and studies.

Self-discipline. I have my to-do list and I religiously follow my list. I sleep early to preserve my voice. I sleep early because I have a game the following day. I watch what I eat because it can either cause me a sore throat (no ice cream for two years) or make me gain weight which will be hard for me to dance or play.

Hard work. In every game, event or singing engagement, it’s all about hard work. Months and months of practice results to a better play of game. Months and months of singing rehearsals results to a better performance.

Excellence. Everytime I play in a game or sing on stage, I tell myself I’m only given one chance to win or to hit the notes right so I better do my best, my only best. Like in real life, there are no take twos.

High Tolerance for Pressure and Nervousness. I learned how to be calm in times of pressure, to breathe whenever the nervousness is overwhelming. Everytime I get on that court and feel everybody’s eyes on me, I stay on my ground and be as graceful as I can be even if my hands were already shaking.

Focus. I learned to be in the here and now because when you are in a game or you’re singing in front of so many people, that’s all that really matters.

Passion For What I Do. At the end of the day, if you love what you do, it’s worth it. When you’re passionate about something, you also tend to enjoy it. Winning or gaining something from an activity is just a bonus.

Now that I was able to backtrack the things I used to do before, I can say that I really had a full life during my younger years. I feel a great sense of achievement and contentment that I was able to share my interests to other people. It feels good to know that youth was never wasted on me and that I was able to make good use of what God has given me.