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Dr. Phil’s Advice On Getting Married

Sharing with you a very logical advice on getting married. I highlighted the values that my Husband and I believed in when it comes to our concept of preparing for a marriage. We read this a year before we wed and it was one of those things that gave us additional realization that we were indeed ready for marriage.

I hope soon-to-be newlyweds (and maybe even married couples) could learn something from this. Read on and enjoy!

Dr. Phil’s Advice On Getting Married

Everybody has core characteristics in their personality. Any incompatibility you experience with your partner won’t magically change. If you don’t address it before the wedding, they will only get worse and worse. Wedding papers change nothing!

If you’re divorced and have children, and ditto goes for your partner, that’s a huge deal! You’re not only merging two lives together, you’re merging two families with history. Work out issues until the threats of canceling the wedding stop, before walking down the aisle.

Too many people fall into the trap of preparing for the wedding, and not the marriage. Prepare for the marriage, and enjoy your wedding.

Remember your wedding is just a day, marriage is a lifetime.

You shouldn’t say we’re going to get married on X day. You need to say we’re going to get married when we’ve done the work to resolve the problems and we have a plan. Then, and only then, when you have a life plan and you feel good about each other, should you claim that victory by walking down the aisle.

If you really love each other, and want to get married, you will do the work to get to that point.

For people very young and in love, don’t put the adult phase into a preparation phase. You need to be an individual alone, before you can be an individual in a partnership. Grow and experience by yourself, before making the decision to get married.

If you haven’t done your homework, and things start to fall apart in your marriage, your child pays the price.

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For That Perfect Round Fried Eggs

For that perfect round sunny-side up fried eggs, we use Egg Rings at home. I’m not fussy when it comes to the shape of my fried eggs, however, my Husband is. He wants them perfectly round (like the ones he eats at Mc Donald’s) so he bought me these Egg Rings as soon as we moved to our new place last year.

An egg ring is used to contain the egg in a perfectly round shape while it cooks. This tool is also useful when you want to cook more eggs in the pan at the same time as it keep the eggs from spreading in the pan. It is usually made of stainless steel and some have attached handles that allow the rings to be lifted easily from the pan.

Some tips on how to achieve a perfectly round fried egg:

1. Before placing the egg ring on the frying pan, lightly grease the inside of the egg rings with butter or oil to avoid cooked eggs to stick too much to your egg rings.

2. For eggs cooked sunny-side up and you are not confident with your egg-cracking ability, crack each egg on a small bowl first before placing the egg on their individual egg ring. For those who want to perfect cracking an egg, all you need is practice. For me, it’s having a gentle but firm hand when cracking an egg.

3. Cooking eggs using Egg Rings usually take a longer time than the usual, about three to five minutes. Keep in mind that eggs are thicker when cooked in egg rings, so it requires more cooking time.

4. The longer the egg is cooked, the browner the bottom of the egg will become. I usually lower the heat so the bottom won’t burn.

5. You can also use Egg Rings for scrambled eggs, perfect for a breakfast sandwich made with an English Muffin.

6. Remove Egg Rings before serving your fried eggs.

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Couple Reflection: The Direction of Your Thought Life

The direction of your thought life can determine the course of your marriage.
“Keep thy heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life.” Proverbs 4:23



As train 8017 made its way through Salerno, Italy on March 2, 1944, it gave no sign that disaster was in the making. The chugging train didn’t collide with anything on that rain-soaked evening. It didn’t derail or burn. But……..shortly after 1:00 am, the train loaded with 600 passengers lumbered into the Galleria delle Armi. When the two locomotives pulling the train reached midtunnel, its driverwheels began to slip. Sand was sprayed on the tracks but to no avail. The wheels lost traction and the train stopped. All else is speculation since both engineers died. Carbon monoxide snuffled out the lives of nearly 500 people.


As analysis surveyed the wreckage, they found that the leading locomotive was unbraked, its controls set in reverse. The second locomotive was also unbraked, but its throttle was positioned “full ahead.” The two locomotives had pulled and pushed against each other, their engineers obviously having fatally different ideas about what to do! Some have speculated that no lives would have been lost if the engineers had only been in agreement about which direction to go.


Make a decision today with your spouse that you will both move your thought life in the direction of God—-then stay close by the controls of your minds.

Source: from an email forwarded by Gary.

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When Was The Last Time You Did Something For Yourself?

Yesterday, I decided not to go to work.

I woke up a little late than usual. The alarm went off at 5:30am, touched the snooze button…alarm went off again after five minutes, I didn’t get up still. After a few more minutes (that’s an understatement), I realized it was already 6am! Immediately, I prepared to go to work. While Husband and I had breakast, I told him, “I don’t want to go to work today, I want to go back to bed and sleep.” The ever-loving husband replied, “Then stay home, what have you got to lose?”

My husband has never been a big talker but once he says something, more often than not, it is logical and will make you stop and realize, “Oo nga no?”

So I asked myself, “When was the last time I did something like this?”

“When was the last time I threw all my caution to the wind and just do what I want and not care about what will happen next?”

“When did I last rewarded myself with a day of sleeping?”

“When was the last time I gave myself something intagible?”

The answer to all those questions was “I don’t know.” With that kind of answer, I think that says a lot, doesn’t it?

And so I stayed home and slept…and watched TV…and read a book…and just relaxed! It was a glorious day for me. I made up for lost sleep and at the same time, it not only rejuvenated my body, but my mind and soul as well.

Nowadays, it’s so easy to get caught up in the web-like array of our day-to-day activities–work, responsibilities, bills to pay, parties to attend, a household to manage, kids to take care of, family and friends to be there for…and the list goes on and on.

These days, we only get to take a day-off when we’re feeling really really sick—and more often than not, we even feel guilty for not going to work!

These days, it’s just so easy to be an adult because we are faced with obligations. that we sometimes forget the child in us.

But once in a while, no matter how difficult or impossible we think it is, doing something for yourself can be the most rewarding thing. It is healthier too.

So be a kid sometimes and ask yourself, “When was the last time I did something for myself?”

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Is it Love or Toxic Love?

30 January 2009 7 Comments Category: Deep Thoughts, Tips

Here’s an article I found that might help in figuring out whether someone’s relationship with a significant other is doing one good.

I’ve had a lot of counseling sessions about L-O-V-E and one thing that I never forget to ask the counselee is whether the relationship they have with their loved one always (or generally) bring out the best in him/her. This article below somehow supports my views on the kind of love that a person should have, not because of societal standards but mainly because each person deserves to be truly loved.

A short list of the characteristics of Love vs. toxic love (compiled with the help of the work of Melody Beattie & Terence Gorski.)

1. Love – Development of self first priority.
Toxic love – Obsession with relationship.

2. Love – Room to grow, expand; desire for other to grow.
Toxic love – Security, comfort in sameness; intensity of need seen as proof of love (may really be fear, insecurity, loneliness)

3. Love – Separate interests; other friends; maintain other meaningful relationships.
Toxic love – Total involvement; limited social life; neglect old friends, interests.

4. Love – Encouragement of each other’s expanding; secure in own worth.
Toxic love – Preoccupation with other’s behavior; fear of other changing.

5. Love – Appropriate Trust (i.e. trusting partner to behave according to fundamental nature.)
Toxic love – Jealousy; possessiveness; fear of competition; protects “supply.”

6. Love – Compromise, negotiation or taking turns at leading. Problem solving together.
Toxic love – Power plays for control; blaming; passive or aggressive manipulation.

7. Love – Embracing of each other’s individuality.
Toxic love – Trying to change other to own image.

8. Love – Relationship deals with all aspects of reality.
Toxic love – Relationship is based on delusion and avoidance of the unpleasant.

9. Love – Self-care by both partners; emotional state not dependent on other’s mood.
Toxic love – Expectation that one partner will fix and rescue the other.

10. Love – Loving detachment (healthy concern about partner, while letting go.)
Toxic love – Fusion (being obsessed with each other’s problems and feelings.)

11. Love – Sex is free choice growing out of caring & friendship.
Toxic love – Pressure around sex due to insecurity, fear & need for immediate gratification.

12. Love – Ability to enjoy being alone.
Toxic love – Unable to endure separation; clinging.

13. Love – Cycle of comfort and contentment.
Toxic love – Cycle of pain and despair.

Love is not supposed to be painful. There is pain involved in any relationship but if it is painful most of the time then something is not working.

{source}

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