Usual Saturday chicka with parents this morning. But what was unusual was my Mom talked to me first (usually the Dad answers the phone) then she asked if I can laugh already and I said “Yes, no more pain in my tummy when I laugh.” (I thought she was just making sure that my tummy’s all good because she knows I laugh a lot) and when my Dad talked to me he sounded so sad.
After asking about the usual questions about my operation, he suddenly became quiet and said, “Wag kang magugulat…wala na si Tatay mo.” And then we both cried.
The person I fondly called “Tatay” is my uncle from my Dad’s side. He is my Dad’s brother-in-law. My Dad is the youngest in the family and instead of being taken cared of by his parents, he was taken cared of by one of his older sisters. My dad’s sister and brother-in-law were the ones responsible for bringing my Dad to Manila and taking care of him from teenage years til he got married. So my Dad treated them like his parents. And when I was born, I treated them like my Grandpa and Grandma as I never got to know my real grandparents from my father’s side of the family. Nanay and Tatay were a big part of my growing up years as they took care of me when I was a kid. Nanay died a few years back…and now Tatay is finally with her in heaven.
I remember my Dad telling me that Tatay looks for me whenever they visit him these past few months. Tatay would ask “Nasaan si Ivy?” which my Dad would always reply, “Tay, si Ivy di ba nasa Australia na nakatira? Dadalawin ka daw nya pag nagbakasyon siya.”
My heart would melt everytime my Dad would tell me that Tatay looks for me. I had a funny feeling about it, like a premonition. I asked my Dad to tell Tatay to wait for me and that he should stay healthy so I can visit him soon.
To our family’s surprise, he passed away last night and I will never get to see him again. My parents didn’t call me last night as they were afraid it might affect my condition. But this morning they just had to let me know. Recuperating or not, I really can’t control the overflowing of my emotions.
I know my Tatay is in a better place now but I’m just very very sad that I won’t see him when I visit Manila again. I’m just sad that another loved one has passed away.
