Couples Reflections

“I’ve learned this much about marriage. You get tested. You find out who you are, who the other person is, and how you accommodate or don’t.”

“…there are a few rules I know to be true about love and marriage: If you don’t respect the other person, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble. If you don’t know how to compromise, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble. If you can’t talk openly about what goes on between you, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble. And if you don’t have a common set of values in life, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble. Your values must be alike.”

“I think marriage is a very important thing to do, and you’re missing a hell of a lot if you don’t try it.”

– from Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom

Husband and I are celebrating our 28th month today. Last night, before he tucked me into bed, he surprised me by saying “Good night!!! Happy monthsary!!”. Being busy with so many concerns for the past weeks, it was only last night that I realized what day is today. I’m the kind of person that takes note of little things and whenever the Husband does any little thing of thoughtfulness, generosity or anything good, I appreciate his gesture with all my heart.

I shared an excerpt from Tuesdays with Morrie which tackled about Marriage because it is all true–in our case, that is.

So far, in the past 28 months that we have been together, we are doing good as a married couple. At a very young stage of our marriage, we have weathered a few challenges here and there…laughed so much, cried a bit, pissed each other off once in a while. Lots of crazy but fun times.

With each day together, I discover how lucky I am to have him for a husband, partner and bestfriend. Marriage is a challenging thing but what makes it easy is that our center has always been our Faith and our values in life.

To my dear Husband, happy 28th month! Because of you, I’m never without love. 🙂

Sharing with you a very logical advice on getting married. I highlighted the values that my Husband and I believed in when it comes to our concept of preparing for a marriage. We read this a year before we wed and it was one of those things that gave us additional realization that we were indeed ready for marriage.

I hope soon-to-be newlyweds (and maybe even married couples) could learn something from this. Read on and enjoy!

Dr. Phil’s Advice On Getting Married

Everybody has core characteristics in their personality. Any incompatibility you experience with your partner won’t magically change. If you don’t address it before the wedding, they will only get worse and worse. Wedding papers change nothing!

If you’re divorced and have children, and ditto goes for your partner, that’s a huge deal! You’re not only merging two lives together, you’re merging two families with history. Work out issues until the threats of canceling the wedding stop, before walking down the aisle

Too many people fall into the trap of preparing for the wedding, and not the marriage.
Prepare for the marriage, and enjoy your wedding.

Remember your wedding is just a day,
marriage is a lifetime.

You shouldn’t say we’re going to get married on X day. You need to say we’re going to get married when we’ve done the work to resolve the problems and we have a plan. Then, and only then, when you have a life plan and you feel good about each other, should you claim that victory by walking down the aisle.

If you really love each other, and want to get married, you will do the work to get to that point.

For people very young and in love, don’t put the adult phase into a preparation phase. You need to be an individual alone, before you can be an individual in a partnership. Grow and experience by yourself, before making the decision to get married.

If you haven’t done your homework, and things start to fall apart in your marriage, your child pays the price.

The direction of your thought life can determine the course of your marriage.
“Keep thy heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life.” Proverbs 4:23

As train 8017 made its way through Salerno, Italy on March 2, 1944, it gave no sign that disaster was in the making. The chugging train didn’t collide with anything on that rain-soaked evening. It didn’t derail or burn. But……..shortly after 1:00 am, the train loaded with 600 passengers lumbered into the Galleria delle Armi. When the two locomotives pulling the train reached midtunnel, its driverwheels began to slip. Sand was sprayed on the tracks but to no avail. The wheels lost traction and the train stopped. All else is speculation since both engineers died. Carbon monoxide snuffled out the lives of nearly 500 people.

As analysis surveyed the wreckage, they found that the leading locomotive was unbraked, its controls set in reverse. The second locomotive was also unbraked, but its throttle was positioned “full ahead.” The two locomotives had pulled and pushed against each other, their engineers obviously having fatally different ideas about what to do! Some have speculated that no lives would have been lost if the engineers had only been in agreement about which direction to go.

Make a decision today with your spouse that you will both move your thought life in the direction of God—-then stay close by the controls of your minds.

Source: from an email forwarded by Gary.

Thanks to our friend Gary who promised to send me the daily couples reflections. Please note that I am just sharing some of the Couples Reflections forwarded to me via email. I do not write these. May we all have a blessed week!

The dictionary defines covetousness as “marked by inordinate desire for wealth or possesions or for another’s possesions.” Inordinate mans “exceeding reasonable limits.” So covetousness is basically an unreasonable desire for something you don’t have others may. Not a healthy state of mind.

The bible does not say you should refrain from wanting a better life for yourself. Doing that would be as abnormal as coveting. What God’s Word does say is that until you achieve your desires, you should be content with what you have and not waste time envying others. You can sit in front of the TV, covering the newest and the best, or you can get out and earn what you want.

“Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have.”-Hebrews 13:5

Father, we know You want the best for us, but the best for us is not necessarily what is best for our neighbors. Keep us from covetousness but not from hope.